


Carry on Wayward Son

by Enigma_IM



Category: Monster Girls | Monster Boys, Original Work, exophilia - Fandom, teratophilia - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hopeful Ending, Suicide Attempt, friendly neighborhood dwarf, its fine, lowkey kidnapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:35:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24444427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enigma_IM/pseuds/Enigma_IM
Summary: "if you would throw away your life, then I will claim it as mine" -rising from the depths
Relationships: Dwarf and Female Human
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Carry on Wayward Son

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, not my best work. which isn't a great way to start off a story but I always believe in fair warnings. I like the first half, it's sad. the rest feels rushed but I still kind of enjoy it. 
> 
> the idea based off the book Rising From the Depths which a story in a series of Kraken romances. That specific book was about a sour puss named Kronus who saves a woman from dying in a (alien) shark attack. she loses her leg and a whole lot of angst ensues, such a great book. it's on Amazon, free with kindle unlimited along with the rest of the series. 
> 
> Also remember, Suicide is never an option. things always get better, just takes a little patience and a lot of love.

"you going to jump?" I startle from the voice, stepping back from the concrete edge. I clench the support beam harder as I twist to look at the company. It's hard to make out a face from all the hair. Big bushy beard and long ginger locks frame the little bit of face visible.

"What? No," I lie with a scoff.

He hums with a quirk of his nose," well it looks like you were. If that isn't the case then what are you doing up on the ledge to a very dangerous fall?" I squint at the man, almost offended by his presence in such a monumental moment. I look from him to the edge, looking down at the water crashing over the rocks.

"Enjoying the view," I huff," it’s a beautiful place." he hums in agreement. I get captured by the distant view of the white-capped waves in the river. It really is a lovely view, a nice final vision before blissful blankness. I take a few baby steps forward, barely lifting my foot as I curt the edge. It's so easy, such a simple action to end the cremating feeling in my chest and head. Just take a step, almost like a leap of faith. It's that easy.

"Such a cowards way out," the man startles me to alertness again.

I snap my head to him," what?" he is closer now, leaning against the shoulder height barrier.

"Suicide, it’s a coward's way out. I can't imagine me saying that holds any weight but it’s the truth. Hurting others because you think its easier. Spoiler alert, nothing is easy. That’s what makes some things sweeter to obtain and others loud enough to tell you its not worth it. But I digress," he shrugs. He glances up at me then back out to the mountains.

I begin to shake, feeling cornered at his correct assumption. My chest feels like a hole and the always there feeling of panic rises into an engulfing terror. I take in shallow breaths as hundreds of lies thread through my mind, hanging onto the edge of my tongue like my feet on the edge of the bridge.

"I-I don- wh-," everything tries to come out at once. The dwarf turns his attention fully to me, regarding me in an almost relaxed pose. It's such a contrast to the black hole eating everything in my chest. I'm offended by his calm demeanor. Why does he get to be calm? Why does he get to be normal?

"Do you not have something better to do than make assumptions about me? I would love if you left now," I snap at him. Knowing what I want to say is a little different. 'leave' or ' please help' sits in the back of my throat.

"I don't think being alone is something you need right now, lass. The company would do you some good even if you don’t want company right now. Let's hope an audience will prevent you from doing something stupid," he answers passively.

"Something stupid? I would disagree, its probably the smartest thing I have ever done," I sigh. I glance back over to the edge with a shuttering breath. It might be my best gift to everyone really. I know it will be a wonderful present for myself. I can't be a burden anymore, as much as I can't keep feeling this. I can't tolerate another panic attack, I won't go about opening to someone who just doesn't get it. I can't help myself and no is willing to try so what's the point.

I forget about the man for a moment as I turn fully to the water. Just one step. Just one lift of my foot and I will be happy, free, content. I will be better once I walk forward. Just one step.

I lift my foot in almost a trance, leaning forward to the air. This I can do, I can do this.

I take the leap.

The first thing I feel is a flip in my stomach as gravity take hold. The next thing I feel is an air-punching feeling to my gut as something wraps around my middle. My elbows hit against the concrete as I fall to my back. My skin scrapes the rough terrain as my lower back skids over the corner. I suck in a gasp at the sudden pain then wince when my back slides over the lip and back onto the flat barrier.

"You damn crazy woman, making me fucking nearly fall with ya," the dwarf curses as he drags me back and over the barrier. "I didn't think you would actually do it if I was here, Jesus Christ saving you took ten years off my own life," he continues.

It takes me a second to survey the situation, I didn't fall. The white-hot fear from falling to my end transforms in anger. I twist in the man's hold and try to scurry away but he holds firm. I lash out in blind rage with a scream.

"Stop your shouting please, I rather not lose ten years then grow old as a deaf lad," he huff. I can't bother to care, just wriggling and screeching in his arms.

"You had no right! You bastard, that was my moment!" I flail till he manages to pin my arms to my sides. His grip is surprisingly strong for someone of his height. I continue to fight, showing more emotion than I have all year. I writhe and yell till I tire myself out, falling limp in his hold. I don’t know when I started crying, I also don't care to try. I drop my head to his chest and wail in grief, pain, angst, whatever.

"Let me die," I whimper," I can't take it anymore, I can't handle the emptiness. Please."

"Why are you so eager to off yourself? Why throw your life to the void," he asks. His fingers loosen on my arms then lift to stroke my hair. I can't answer him, I just want the silence to stop. I want the panic to end. God, please, it's all I want.

"well if you are going to give your life away then I shall take it," he huff as he thumps his head back against the wall.

I don't care what he is saying. This moment will end and I will be back here again. As fate for me to be here in the end.

-

I end up at his house once he managed to guide me from the bridge. He brings me inside and rests me on the couch. I don’t bother fighting, it would do me no good for now. I'm too tired to do anything, to feel anything. Sitting, I can do that for now.

He tries to get me into a conversation, I don't answer. He gives me food, I don't eat. He turns on the tv, I don't pay attention. As it gets late he gives me a blanket and pillow to sleep on the couch. I just lay down and stare emptily into the now darkened room.

He sighs," tomorrow will be better."

I don’t believe him.

-

I wake to a bright light shining into my eyes, I groan and turn over on the couch. I feel something shake my shoulder but I brush it off with another groan. Someone huffs then the blanket is snatched from my body. The cold air runs over my legs in full tilt alarm. I snap my legs up instinctually and twist to scold the person holding my blanket.

"good, you can still get angry," he smirks as he drops the blanket to the floor. He doesn't pay me any attention as he heads for the kitchen attached to the living room.

"What is that suppose to mean," I shout as I snatch the blanket from the floor. I happen to glance at the clock attached to the wall, 7am. "Who the hell wakes up at 7am," I groan as I roll back onto the couch prepared to go back to sleep.

Before I could doze off the couch raises, the new angle knocking me on my ass. I thump my head to the floor with a loud thud and a colorful curse.

"You wake up at 7am now and eat breakfast soon after, got it?" I rub my head as I glare after the retreating dwarf.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't believe I stuttered," he passes a glance over his shoulder.

"Yea, I got that. I'm just curious who you think you are to be demanding that from me," I snap. I stand and snatch the blanket off the floor for the second time today.

"I am the person who owns your life so I decided what you do and don't do," he answers with a grin. It isn't sadistic or perverted like one would assume with a sentence like that. Either way, it isn't appreciated.

"Excuse me? You own me?"

He nods," that I do. You gave up your life yesterday and I claimed it for mine so you belong to me now. So come over here and eat, you are all skin and bones. Some weight and healthy food will do you some good." I don’t answer him, too flabbergasted to move. Am I being kidnapped? This is illegal, no one can claim a person.

When I don't answer he looks over holding a plate of a well-rounded breakfast. He cocks a brow, "What?"

"I'm leaving," I huff as I turn to the door.

"feel free to but know I will follow you so you don't go and do something stupid."

"You are going to stalk me?"

"if I have to, then yes."

"I'm going to call the cops."

"Do so and I will tell them you are a danger to yourself and they will put you into a hospital. Being with me will be more worth your time than being drowned in pills in a sterile room. Will it help, maybe. Will it be the best option, no. so those are your choices."

"You are an asshole."

"if that is what I have to be I will be the bad guy in your story."

"fuck you."

"Whatever you say. Here is what is going to happen. You will work with me on the river, then eat before we work out, then read or converse till bed. This will be your schedule during the week, then the weekend is yours. You will still wake up early but feel free to do as you wish. A schedule will keep you rounded and your brain in working order."

"I don't want to do that."

"Sometimes we don’t want to do thing but those things will help us in the long run. I don't like taking medicine but I know it will help. I don't like washing my clothes but I know if I don't then I won't have anything to wear. Often actions we bore ourselves with is beneficiary. Now quit whining and grab the bucket over there."

"fucking jackass."

"I will take insult over nothing."

We do exactly as he says, eat breakfast (though I manage barely nibbles) then head out to work on the river casting lines and cleaning up trash or debris. I fight every chance I get to not work but every time I act a brat he playfully splashes water or tugs a strand of my hair. Once we finish out by the river we sit on a dock and eat sandwiches. I barely touch my sandwich, instead, munching on the fruit. He takes the innards of my food then feeds the bread to the mallards swimming by. Watching the ducks is new, my mother always regarded the birds as disgusting needy animals. It's nice for a moment.

Next, we head back to his house where he offers some clothes to exercise in. we run for a bit then do some yoga to my surprise. He doesn't look like a fit man but keeps up pretty well to my lazy pace. We work up a good sweat before heading back to the house and showering. He offers more clothes then we settle in the living room.

"Wanna talk or read?"

"what?"

"This is enrichment time if you will. I generally sit and read before bed but the company is welcome. So would you like to read or talk?"

"Neither."

"I can talk at you if you like."

"do whatever you want. I played along with your demands today, I'm done."

"you aren't but if you wish to just listen to my voice then feel free to. I think today was nice, even if you were a bit bratty. Some hard work will do you some good, especially with your anxiety. Work calms the nerves if you do it right."

"how about reading."

"want to read now? Alright, here," he huffs before sitting up and grabbing a book from the shelf. There seems to be no thought in his choice as he grabs the closest in his reach. He tosses the hardcover to me, it lightly bouncing on the couch. I grab it, gloss over the title with little to no care, then open it. Out the corner of my eye, he opens up his own.

I stare down at the first page, not bothering to read it. I think about the day, think about how my legs ache and my stomach feels fuller than any recent time I can remember. I turn to the next page after a short moment, repeating the process anew.

The man scoffs, "I know you are faking it."

"Am not."

"'His eyes roamed around the room once they were adjusted to the faint illumination. He furn-"

"What are you doing?"

"reading."

"Out loud?"

"you need socializing, either it is from reading or from me. Why not both?"

"you aren't giving up are you?"

"on you? No."

"don’t say it like that."

"What?"

"Don't say it like that."

"I'm not giving up on you, that will be made very clear right now. You are worthy of living and worthy of being happy. Sometimes to get put in the right direction takes a helping hand, If I have to be that hand then so be it. I can't fix you, that isn't how this works, but I will give you the tools to help yourself. I will not give up on you, got it?"

He spoke with such benediction, so firm and confident. I had to believe him, there was no room for lies in his words. He is here to help me, I never doubted him, but he believes that I can help myself. That thought is oddly sobering.

"yes."

"Good, now are you going to read, or am I reading to you?"

"to me."

"Alright then."

I didn't believe his ways, I still barely do, but I think I can humor the idea. If only for a little while I think I can give it a shot. I trust the oddly caring dwarf man living by the river. Hell, if he can catch and pull me over a bridge then I think he can use the strength to help me find my own.

It's worth a try.


End file.
